Greg's Cereal-Eating Techniques

They say that before you can plunge your spoon into a bowl of cereal, you need to be able to visualize every last crumb within the foul dish being ground into oblivion against your molars. Such intense skill and concentration is necessary to be able to handle the danger that cereal poses - and few are as equipped to handle this danger as one Greg Miller. As revealed in a memorable GameOverGreggy Show segment that was subsequently turned into a Kinda Funny Doodle, Greg discovered at a young age that he could overcome the breakfast item with ease by starving it of milk, pouring it into a Shakespeare's Cup, and then thrusting said cup towards his mouth - resulting in the cereal exiting the receptacle's innards, and ending up safely in Greg's gullet without causing significant bloodshed.

In the aforementioned segment, Greg implied that he learned this awe-inspiring technique from horses, suggesting that man's equestrian companions have been honing cereal-eating techniques for far longer than we have. What other secrets about the nature of time, space, and horses will Greg divulge next? Nobody knows - but until he does so, the globe can breath easily knowing that so long as Miller and his hoofed companions are in peak physical condition, the horrors of cereal will be kept at bay.