Greg and Shirtlessness

As a result of his time training in the Spanish Alps, Greg is able to summon the Bareity, a holy, invisible membrane that wraps around his body whenever he takes off his shirt. In addition to providing a continuous massaging sensation, the Bareity protects Greg from all manners of danger, preventing the rest of Kinda Funny from knocking him off and usurping his popularity while on-air.

Greg has hidden this secret from his co-hosts for the entirety of their time together, and doesn't seem interested in revealing it to them anytime soon (instead, he makes his obsession with being shirtless seem like another one of his weird eccentricities, like his cereal-eating habits, or his love of Batman v Superman). If you ever want to confirm the Bareity's existence for yourself, go up to Greg at his next meet-and-greet, and whisper "I want to see the goods" in his ear; he'll take his shirt off, and prompt you to squirt ketchup onto his chest. If you proceed to do so, the ketchup will bounce right off his fleshy girth upon impact (and if Greg is feeling especially limber that day, he might then catch it in his mouth). Trust me - it's a sight to behold!