The Grabbler

The Grabbler is among the most feared and respected supervillains that currently inhabit the United States. In an era in which most other evil-doers have taken their game online, and torment the populace by emotionally manipulating them on YouTube, Twitter, and other social media, The Grabbler engages almost exclusively in irl acts of supervillainy: hacking TVs en masse, stealing priceless heirlooms, and drinking beer out of a goblet. He's kept law enforcement agencies on their toes for an incredibly long time, and will likely continue to do so for many more years to come - but, as speculated by the Kinda Funny crew in 2018, there's little doubt that he still has a heart of gold underneath all that spandex and baby powder, and would likely sacrifice himself (or, as Jessica Nigri put it, perform his "last grab") if it meant saving the world from utter annihilation.

The Grabbler is believed to employ an army of underlings that include his dastardly henchman, Stogey, his wife, Geau, and a mob of work-hungry contortionists, called Grabbies. Hey - in today's gig economy, you've gotta be flexible.